When I say the word, family, what definition conjures up in your head? You might think of a mom and a dad playing in the park with 2-3 kids and a puppy nipping at their feet.
Or perhaps it’s a full dining room table with kids of all ages and a house bustling with noise and activity. You would definitely be right! Both of those scenarios would fit the definition of a family. But actually, the family begins at the altar, when a man and a woman say, “I do.”
Genesis 2:24 says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (ESV)
It’s at that point that the family unit begins. Not when children enter the picture. And it’s that point that is being sadly neglected in exchange for busy schedules, child-centered households, marriages that are put on the back-burner, and so on.
It’s very important that you continue to cultivate your marriage relationship even though you are busy raising your kids. One day your kids will be gone and the two of you will have the relationship you built while your kids were in the home. Will it be a good one?
In order to grow a culture of godliness in your home, God must be at the center of your marriage. If he’s not, you must seek to turn your relationship around and make Him the center. Here’s how to do that.***
With Christ at the center, it will be much easier to cultivate a godly home.
Building a godly marriage certainly takes effort. But I don’t think you’ll ever regret intentionally building your marriage on Christ, the Rock and Chief Cornerstone.
Here at Cultivating a Godly Home, you’ll find resources to help you build your marriage to become God-honoring. Don’t worry if you marriage is lacking. That’s no reason to be discouraged!
We all have things we need to work on! Your marriage is a great place to start! And if your marriage is already strong, praise the Lord! You can still work hard to keep it that way!
Not only will building a strong marriage bring a blessing to both of you, but your children will see the example you provide and hopefully seek to repeat it someday. By having a good relationship with your spouse, you’re showing your kids that marriage is valuable and keeping God at the center is the best way to have a successful marriage.
Not only will you a Christ-centered marriage be a good example to your kids, but it will also help you as you teach and train your kids. If you’re not on the same page, you will struggle to raise godly kids. (It still doesn’t mean it can’t be done.)
Amos 3:3 says, “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?”
It’s very difficult (not impossible) to create a godly culture in your home if you’re not in agreement with your spouse. So what do you do? Don’t give up! You must keep working to develop a Christ-Centered marriage, and continue to work on your walk with the Lord, as well.
A godly marriage doesn’t just happen. You must be intentional. If you work hard to build a biblical foundation, you will reap the benefits. Here are some tips for developing a Christ-centered marriage.
Pray for, and With Each Other
Find a time each day (several times are even better) to pray together. In our marriage, we always pray together before bed. No matter how tired, whatever the circumstances, or what the day has brought, we don’t miss a night (not once in almost 20 years of marriage!) This helps ensure we never go to bed angry, either.
When you pray with your spouse, you develop a connection that runs very deep. It also helps keep communication alive. And there’s just something special about praying together!
Also, pray for each other. Pray for each others spiritual growth, for purity, for peace, and courage, and the list goes on. You get the idea! You’ll know the best way to pray for your mate!
Cultivate a Friendship With Each Other
Perhaps one of the best ways to cultivate a godly marriage is by starting with a solid friendship. Sometimes, as the years go on and you adapt to your busy roles, the friendship and love for each other that drew you together to begin with, may have gotten lost in the shuffle.
Set aside time to spend together. If you find you don’t have a ton in common anymore, then develop some new hobbies to do together. For fun, find something neither of you knows anything about and then start exploring!
Make it the goal to become each other’s best friend.
Abide by Your God-Given Roles
Remember that God made a husband and a wife, each with their own roles and responsibilities. Your marriage will be stronger if you learn to walk in those roles. The world’s temptation is to mix up the roles and try to entice husbands and wives to live opposite of what God intended. Stick to scripture and you’ll be ok!
Keep Intimacy Alive
Have sex and have it often! In order to cultivate a godly marriage, you must not neglect coming together as husband and wife. Busyness is not a reason, and neither is desire. Whether or not you feel like it, you need to make sex a priority in your marriage. You are the only ones that can fulfill each other’s sexual desires. No one else can.
Show Mutual Love and Respect for Each Other
Any good relationship is filled with love and respect and a marriage is no exception. For some reason, years of living together in the same house can make us a little sloppy in the way we treat each other. Familiarity does not need to breed complacency. Make sure to always use a good tone and love for each other.
Never. Ever. Talk Bad About Your Husband
Not to anyone. And definitely not to him.
I know the scenario… the two of you have an argument and can’t see eye-to-eye. Tempers rise and anger flies. (Notice the rhyme?!) In anger you leave the room and grab your phone. You’re gonna text your best friend, or call your mom, or air your dirty laundry on Facebook – PLEASE DON’T!!
Make it a point, no matter how frustrated the two of you become with each other, to never speak badly one another. It can be hard, but if you’re committed to cultivating a godly marriage, then you’ll be sure to speak words that edify.
Keep Current on Your Issues
When problems and arguments arise, and they will, make sure you keep Up to date with whatever comes between you. The enemy will use your differences to build a stone wall between each of your hearts. Fight this battle I never going to bed angry – both Creatively and literally. Try your absolute best not to let problems build up. Take care of them right away and you will be well on your way to cultivating a copy marriage.
Realize That the Grass is Not Greener
Learn to appreciate your spouse for the person that God created. No matter what your circumstances may be, the grass is not always greener on the other side. Don’t look at your best friend’s marriage and be jealous. Instead, make your marriage the most God-honoring it can be and love your spouse no matter what! Don’t let your mind wander or get tricked into thinking that your circumstances would be better, if only….
As you seek to cultivate a godly home, it will be imperative that your marriage is built solidly on the God of the Bible and his ways. Once you make your marriage a priority and seek to honor God first, you’ll be well on your way to cultivating a godly family.