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[line]Inside: Ever wonder how to have a godly marriage? The advice in this article will help you keep Christ at the center of your marriage. Have a look inside to see what you could be doing to make God the center of your relationship.[line]
How to Have a Godly Marriage
If you’re wondering how to love your spouse and have a godly marriage, then there are a few things you need to do.
Christ Must Be at the Center
The internet is full of resources available to help you have the best marriage ever.
But what makes a godly marriage?
Truthfully, the secret isn’t hard at all. If you want to know how to have a godly marriage, the answer is simple:
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Christ must be at the center.
That means all that you do is done through a biblical lens.
How do you treat your spouse when he isn’t pleasant?
The way Christ would.
How do you respond when you’re wronged?
With a gentle answer (Proverbs 15:1).
If you keep Christ at the center of your marriage by being together in the Word and praying with your husband, then your marriage will automatically become godly.
It Doesn’t Just Happen
Unfortunately, in order to have a Christ-centered marriage, you can’t be haphazard about your relationship. Be intentional about your marriage and watch the changes happen.
I love my husband, and we have a great marriage, but if we didn’t work at it, the truth is, we are two sinners living together.
That means we have to have our attitudes in check constantly. We are always working toward making our marriage more godly.
If I left my relationship with my husband unattended and didn’t work to put anything into it, then I could pretty much guarantee that we would not have a very godly relationship.
A Godly Marriage Takes Work
So how do you become intentional about your marriage?
First, it takes a willingness and a desire to have a godly marriage. Then it takes communication and the drive to execute certain things.
It’s essential to have a quiet time together as a couple or to choose a Bible study that the two of you can go through together.
Make each other a priority by spending time dating and communicating.
If you have kids in the house, the chances are, it’s much more difficult to spend time together, but it’s worth it.
Keep an attitude of willingness to change and constantly remind yourself that marriage does take work.
A Godly Marriage Takes Sacrifice
It also takes sacrifice.
Once you’re married, you are no longer your own person. Even if you’ve been married many years, you may still have to remind yourself of that.
Your choices must always be considered with your husband in mind. And then you must be willing to sacrifice.
It also takes a mutual agreement to sacrifice.
What does that look like?
Sometimes it means shutting off the TV to talk, or not spending money on something so you can have money to take a weekend getaway.
It might mean not getting together with friends as often as you would have before you were married. It could involve placing your husband’s desires above your own.
Your sacrifice will look different than mine, but to have a godly marriage, I guarantee you that it does take sacrifice.
Trust God With Your Future
Sometimes the future is uncertain and scary.
In fact, most of the time it is.
But if you, together with your husband, can trust God with your future, it may be one of the single most important things you do to have a godly marriage.
When the two of you cling to each other and God in times of uncertainty, your faith will grow by leaps and bounds, and you will be amazed at how united you become.
My husband and I have gone through some very scary and trying times in our marriage, and I’m confident that those were the times our faith grew the most.
Be Sure to Have a Strong Network of Christian Friends
Having a strong network of Christian friends is more valuable than you might realize.
Think about it, when times get rough, what do you do?
Most people turn to a trusted friend for advice.
Frustrated with your husband?
You need a Christian friend who will point you toward God’s wisdom.
If you don’t have a strong network of Christian friends, then who will encourage you to have a godly marriage?
The people you keep company with determine a lot about your morals. Do not be deceived:
“Bad company ruins good morals” 1 Corinthians 15:33 (ESV).
The best way to develop a strong network of Christian friends is by being active in your local church.
Trust me when I say, there will be a time when you need godly friends.
Even if you get along well with your husband, at some point, you will need godly wisdom and encouragement from Christian friends.
Always Keep Open Communication
Please, please, please tell your husband what you’re thinking!
He can’t figure it out unless you communicate.
Make sure you keep current with your problems, and don’t make him guess when you’re hurting.
If you have an unresolved issue, it’s so important to never to go to bed angry.
My husband and I have a great marriage, and I will admit that we have had a handful of sleepless nights over our almost 20 years of marriage.
We’ve committed to never go to bed angry, and it has been so worth it. It’s made for a few tired days the following day, but I can handle tired as long as the issues are resolved.
Communication in your marriage is so important. If you struggle to tell your husband what’s on your mind, start building up trust by letting him know little things that are important to you.
Don’t Stop Dating Your Husband
Dating doesn’t end just because you’re married. In fact, dating can be much more fun as a married couple!
Depending on the ages and stages of your kids and parenting, dating can be a little more difficult. But it doesn’t have to mean that you can’t date your husband just because you have kids around.
If you can’t afford a babysitter, have an in-house date.
Put your kids to bed early and cook a favorite recipe together. And if you can go out somewhere, even better!
We like to schedule dates in advance so that we make sure our calendar doesn’t fill up before we’ve had time to spend together.
If you lack creativity, Pinterest is full of ideas for dating your mate. Dating your husband is a great way to keep the fire alive in your marriage.
Keep Intimacy Alive
Which leads me to…the bedroom. Please listen up!
It’s so important that you and your husband have intimate time together on a regular basis. Whether you feel like it or not!
Every marriage will go through seasons, and each season has its own unique characteristics. I have seven kids, so intimacy has changed throughout each season.
Crying and teething babies, teenagers with heart issues, sleepless nights, and everything else that comes with being a mom has at times threatened to creep into the marriage bed. If you can relate to any of this, then, my friend, please do your best to protect your sex life.
God ordained it.
That means it’s essential.
If you want to have a godly marriage, then you must keep a healthy and active sex life, regardless of the business of life.
How do you do this? By making sacrifices and making each other a priority. If you have to, schedule time together and put it on the calendar.
It might even be a fun and flirty way to have a secret between the two of you. Make up a symbol and post it on the calendar. Then remind each other what’s on the agenda for the evening! 😉
Nothing knits two souls together more intimately than praying together.
My husband and I have made it a point to pray together every single day of our marriage. The bond it has created is unlike anything I could have ever imagined.
As a bare minimum, we pray together before bed every night. This also helps ensure that we are never going to bed angry, because it’s challenging to pray with someone you’re not speaking to!
Bring everything to God in prayer together. We’ve bowed our heads together in the middle of a grocery store, in line at the checkout, in the car, in our bed at night, in utter despair, in complete rejoicing, and so on.
Have a marriage marked by praying together. Together you will defeat Satan and his fiery schemes (James 4:7).
Work to Enhance Each Other’s Strengths and Diminish Each Other’s Weaknesses
As you grow in your marriage and appreciate one another’s strengths and weaknesses, you can become a rock-solid entity. But you must learn that he is not like you, and you are not like him.
Does your husband put the toilet paper on upside down?
Does he leave the toilet seat up?
Maybe he misses the hamper by a few feet!
Do these things drive you nuts, or do you see them as areas that you can diminish his weaknesses by filling in his gaps?
What would your husband say are your weaknesses?
But please don’t only focus on the flaws. Remember that God has gifted him with a set of strengths that can enhance your marriage.
Focus on the strengths that you each bring to the table and diminish the weaknesses. Then your marriage will work like a well-oiled machine as you fill in each other’s gaps.
Hold Your Tongue
Oh, but it’s so tempting to speak your mind! But sometimes a godly marriage is best developed when you hold your tongue (James 3).
There may be days when you need to ask God to put a guard over your mouth (Psalm 141:3). Sometimes that’s just what’s best.
I realize this can be very difficult, but if you can overlook your husband’s offenses (Psalm 19:11) and hold your tongue (Proverbs 21:23), your marriage will become more Christlike.
Remember Your Commitment to Each Other
Regardless of how long ago you committed to honor and love each other until death, your commitment should always be before you.
Not every marriage is difficult, but surely every marriage will go through times when the commitment is challenged.
Whether sickness, poverty, or other difficulty, at some point you will need to remember that you’ve committed to each other for life.
Never Stop Learning and Growing
Become a student of your husband and never be content to stay where you are in your relationship. I hope to always to learning more about my husband as each day passes.
Spend time in the Word together and consider doing a Bible study. As you each grow closer to God, you will grow closer to each other automatically.
You’ll be amazed at the benefits of having a godly marriage, and your efforts will be worth it!
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